PIGSVILLE - THE FOUL FLAVOUR

God almighty I'm lazy! I'm so full of bullshit. Regular updates my scrawny ass! Fumigate the khazis after I'm done. So silly. I have time, sure. Just feels that it takes an effort to upd ate. I don't understand why the fuck it is like that. Today I must of written 40 emails, some of them long, some short. And I was tired, not much to do. Slightly hung over. The past few weeks I've been to a lot of concerts, watched quite a few stupendousl y stupid movies, burned a lot of CDs, connected my computer to my doggone TV that keeps booting up and down, trusty like an LC475 with an old battery, watched The Matrix on pirated VCD - good fucking movie - I'll stand in line when it screens here.

The concerts, then? Well: Zeke, Add N To (X), Hoovercraft, Sahara Hotnights, Smog, Dixie Hummingbirds and some other. They were all good. Slight presentation:

Zeke – American punk rawk the way god meant it to sound. Faster than fast. Angrier than angry. The drummer gave the fuck-off sign for every drumbeat. My friend Honk got bad drunk. The mos t tattooed room I've been in in ages. I must have been the only one there not needled to the teeth. Better get me one. Suggestions?
Add N To (X) – Loud analogue ruckus. That King Wasp song from their first album, On the Wires of Our Nerves, is a real cruncher. They seemed drunk. Fronted by a hugely good looking girl on Theremin & Moog Rogue. Live d rums. 3 analogue sunthesists. One played the awesome ARP 2600 and ARP Pro Soloist. Reminded me of all the hours i spent in my blissful youth wanking to analog monophonics in Keyboard Magazine.
Smog – Silence is golden, golden. Very quiet, very introvert. Mundane. Depressing like Matmos. But arousing anyway. I'm just a big girly man.
Hoovercraft – Big guitar noise. It's been a while since I listened to this kinda music. Ya know, like experimental Sonic Youth stuff. Guitars. Guitars. Guitars. Sometimes punky, sometimes Black Sabbath-y, sometimes speedsonics.
Sahara Hotnights – Young female fronted band from Sweden. Pretty rocking pretty girls. One song was a total Like a Hurricane ripoff, but apart from that they were quirky angry girls who made me wish I was younger and sweeter look ing. Some nice eye contact with the bass player, but I guess that was just incidental. Still, masturbatory fodder of sorts. I'm just a dirty old man in a dirty old town. But my underwear is clean. Write that down in your filofaxes or Palm Pilots or whatno t.
Dixie Hummingbirds – What can I say? 4 old black men on vocals, one old black man on geetar. Vocal stylings from heaven. Gospel. I cried at least once. It tore my guts out. There is something very humbling in seeing old black men holdin g an audience by the proverbial balls like that, to pull up young white guys from the audience, proceeding to DEVASTATE them with moves like you've never seen. Joy. Serenity.

I write. No thoughts, no afterthoughts. I get so precious little comments anyway. I should do something else. Like get outside. Check out the breeding ground. Skinnydip in the genepool. Get my crack s macked. Smack your crack, maybe, baby?

And this week was monitor week, meaning monitor, a free mag I've worked on/with for almost 4 years. Working for free, spending late late hours. Writing, layouting, scanning, processing, making images. It's a hard rock life huh yeah. monitor, the web version, is here. I thought it was a good issue. A very good Sebadoh interview, among other things. I'm feeling tired of this now. I had some rambling rolling shit I wanted to say, but that is all "lost. Like tears... in the rain...";) Looking forward to get some new records from the mailinglist I'm on. DJ'd last sunday, but that's dj in lower-case letters. I was play ing between bands at a amateur event with like 30 bands together with my pal Wucka Man. My dj name was coined by Svante Lodén of Damn! and Agurk Players when I helped do their first record sleeve. It's... DJ Uptown Ruler. My next DJ name is DJ Sugg a Avdrag or maybe DJ Spinsta.

What shit did we play? Well, Wucka played hiphop and classy black music, mostly. People craved rock, though. I started off playing some Yma Sumac, some mambo, some strip music. Next set I played stuff like The Makers, Stooges, Supersuckers. Then Incredibly Strange Music, AC/DC & Cramps. Some dub and NY dub. Then Raggasonic and some Miami Bass, speedy as hell. That Magic Mike sure knows how to pitch it up. You get the picture: diverse and erratic. But it was that kinda gig. Last of all, I had time to test out some Congo Natty 12s. I put on Exodus and my goodness! Play that kinda jungle at a good volume thru an 18000 watt, high quality PA in a concert place with extremely good acoustics: man, I swear. I could only laugh. Congo Natty is riotously funny, cuz it's so fucking heavy. The drums sound like crappy leftovers from somewhere, gates outta hell. Then cometh the bassline, ripping at your balls like a succubus from Sheol. Boom!

Me and Wucka was actually sceduled to do a real DJ stint yesterday, but that fell thru. Guess we'll do it another thursday this summer. Next week me and my pal Alex is going to play at a party. They w ant banghra, latin and that kinda jazz. I guess we're gonna tear their pants clean off with some serious reggae, ragga & ska too. On the matter of jamaican music: check out them Trojan boxes!

Alex, by the way, is going to enter fatherhood. He is not together with his child's mother. It seems like one of those accidents. Maybe it's just blissful ignorance. Maybe. Anyway, the child is due in 5 weeks. They did the ultra sound thingie today. Alex' brother Richard, DJ Cheb Oman (actually he's a DJ pro), is also going to go all papa in a few months. As is another couple friends of mine, I guess. They sure come like ketchup in a fresh bottle. Not CUM, stupid! Shut the fuck up, sonny. It kinda puts even more fire in them old gonads of yore. Like yeah. I'm not that kinda reproduction freak.

Let me ask you one thing. Rethorically, that is. Do girls in general fall for lines like "I want to marry you" and "I'd like to have a child with you"? Especially when they are in drunken mode. No offence, I'm just curious. Old boring Swedish author, artist and absinthe addict August Strindberg got laid by using that phrase. I don't think it resulted in any children, but most likely a good 'screw'. To use the infernal lingo of tod ay's youth. Emocore jugend fuckwits. I hate you deeply. I think that is within my rights. Sorry for me being in your ways, sorry for not saying the things you want to hear, need to hear, crave to hear. That's the way I am: your average sourpuss. Average a ffable sourpuss who's good with children. Maybe next time I'll tell you about when I worked at kindergartens. Or maybe a short exposé of all my jobs. My œvre, so to speak.

XOXO,
Oinkin' Mister Pig

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